2008

2008 is coming to a close. I'm completely ready to let it go and move on to a new year.

So much has happened.


From mostly heartbreaks and misunderstanding things, 2008 had its ups as well as downs.

The bads:

Everyone has bad times, but everyDAY was all bad. From a fucked over family to my newly introduced "you're on your own," newsflash given by my parents to me, it's kinda sad how bad things keep repeating. My camera broke and I still need to raise money to fix it, but my parents don't want me to get a job because they don't want me to not focus on school...I think I can balance it, but they don't think so. There were misunderstandings with a crush, and it spiraled into all kinds of different directions (at least it has been resolved and now we have a nice friendship). On the other hand, this new crush is complicated and I don't think I have enough confidence to go for it. Then again, I think to myself that I need to wait and know this person more. It's an easy task? Hardly. Will it be worth it? I hope so. Will it not go the way I want it to be? Probably not because that's how my life is.

The Goods:

Even though most of my life has been a black hole, there are many events, people, and family members that shoot me back up. I started the year by taking pictures for the school newspaper. After a while, I was asked to go on a photo-shoot for Marketplace Magazine. It made me feel great that I was chosen to take the pictures; now I can use them to my Academy of Art application. I have met sooooooooooooo many amazing people that I can consider my really close friend in such a short amount of time. One of them happens to be her, but I don't want to do anything just yet; whether it be confession or mutual attraction, patience is key. My uncle from Wisconsin and my family from Canada came home for the holidays and I have never laughed, cried, and remembered so hard in my life. They made the closing of the year memorable and easy for me to complete. I'm ready to move on and get my life straight.

The goals:

I haven't really paid much attention to my New Year's resolutions, but this year I have to. With 41 resolutions lined up and pinned to my wall, I believe that I need to take time for myself and not let the small things in life bring me so down. Along with the goals for the 2009 year, I took the time to write all of the memories, events, and hardships of 2008 and put them in a bottle. At 11:59, I'm going to go to my backyard and bury this bottle and leave it there until it's dug out and read; there is also a note for whoever discovers it.


_____________________________________________


All in all, this year has been good and bad. Focused and unfocused. But as the saying goes, "Life is like photography: you develop from the negatives."

So happy.

I.
Am.
So.
Happy.

So, yesterday was ass. I found out something that I didn't want to hear, and someone didn't make it any better..but I forgave her today and it's all fine. My parents kept nagging and ranting at me for a good 30 minutes, so I felt that the day was done and I just wanted to give up all together.

Until today. I told myself the night before that since yesterday didn't go as accoding to plan (not really according to plan..but what I thought would happen soon...or at least the slightest would have been fine in the long run), that getting "The General" in our school's musical: "Seussical the Musical" would be my last shed of hope in anything good happening to me. At 7:23 this morning, I walked up to those theater doors and found my name printed next to the General. I scram my head off when I saw it and I couldn't stop smiling. Everyone is so happy about the parts they got, and it's really making today one of the best. Even if my character goes on probably once in the whole show, I wanted to be this guy since the musical was first mentioned. Even though my thoughts of "it" were shattered last night, this day could not be any better.

I LOVE LIFE.

School.

-7:42 am
-In journalism 2
-Found out that Blogger isn't blocked.
-I'm tired

I've learned

to let go;
to not hold on so tightly.
to open the jar
at just the right moment
and enjoy the light.

Why Stop?

Why stop
when you can keep on going?
There's no life red-light,
right?
Sure, it goes fast and sometimes slow;
but why do you think you can just stop?
It's not possible.
One can't stop time, rather just go excruciatingly slow.
Left, right, backwards, forwards
just more words
to add to the simple "move on."

Glancing over at the permeated darkness,
sadness and sickness,
the light shines bright after the fog clears.
Just wipe the tears
off the face of reality
and into abnormality.
When life gives you lemons,
then you know it's the work from the heavens.
The simple things in life are so beautiful that no one sees it.
No one needs it.
We have gossip, phones, internet, and T.V.
but does that really determine who I want to be?
Just another social reform?
Just part of the swarm
of consumers to the "perfectly portrayed" society?
No.
It's not like that.
Sure, life is just spit that has been spat
on the walls of humanity;
just clean it up and start a fresh new page,
we always age.
We never realize when our time comes
and perhaps end up sleeping in the slums.
We need to open our eyes,
and soon realize:
Why stop?
Why quit?
Why sit?
Why throw a fit?
Get up, and take a good look on your past.
Because there's no way in hell that this current life is your last.