Phloge #2

Fuck.





It really makes me mad knowing that I'm ugly and deformed. It really makes me mad knowing that there is no such thing as what a person is, yet it is what a person looks like.
I really hate it when I tell myself to try again to look for someone and end up getting chewed up and spat out. I really hate the fact that people give false hope and make you seem interested; when in reality, they said they were gone when really they were just talking to your best friend for a long time.
I loathe how my best friend knows I like this one girl, yet doesn't give a FUCK about me because half the time he's spilling everything about his girl problems onto ME. Why the FUCK does everything good happen to other people, who are oddly better looking than me, and not me? Why aren't I ever granted a chance? Why can't I find someone who shares the same ideas as I do as well as likes me for who we are rather than what we look like?

I knew I should give up. Everything I say comes true. So when I said that I'd never find anyone else after her, I was fucking right. I hate high school. I want to graduate. I want to move on. I want to be someone. I want to be alone. If not alone, I want someone who likes ME. No matter what I look like. No matter what qualities I have. But I'm never finding that. I'm just going to stick to my original plan:

Living in an apartment in San Francisco with a daughter and a dog.


I want that so bad right now...